Of Random Partys and Dirtyness
by black-venom-heart
Summary: Max and the Flock go back to her mom's house after they destroy Itex. Waiting for them is FAX, bombs, underage drinking and evil plots!
1. Beginning of Chaos

Ok new story! I felt like writing this at the spur of the moment so chapter is short but funny! I hope u find it funny though…Also my first M rated story so be nice while reviewing.

**Warning** Language, themes, brief nudity, underage drinking (like way underage) and the like. If u can't handle it DON'T READ!

Disclaimer: If u think I own this then you belong in a straight jacket or something…

Nudge happily skipped down the sidewalk with her new little pink purse in hand. As she rounded the corner, she saw a bunch of older teens standing around the park with some bottles of beer. Looking around to make sure that no one of the flock was around, she went up to them.

"Hey there little girl. Want some booze?"

"Hell yeah, give me some of that!" Nudge took a bottle and begun chugging it down. Two hours later she was drunk as an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day.

Ella moaned as he pushed her up against the cold wall and began trailing kisses from her jaw down to her neck and up again to her lips where he ran his tongue along her lower lip and begged for entrance. Ella only too happily complied and he explored her mouth with his tongue. Iggy felt extremely hot and felt extremely relieved as Ella stripped off his shirt and tossed it somewhere across the room. His hands came up the back of her shirt and unclipped her bra and in one smooth movement, Ella's shirt and bra were on the floor. Just at that moment, Max came into the room looking extremely worried and confused, oblivious to the fact that her sister and her "brother" where standing there halfway undressed. Ella screeched and shoved Iggy in front of her, trying to cover up.

"Oh my god Iggy!" Max looked like she was about to go into hyperventilation.

"Yeah, ummm... So sorry Max! I know we're only fourteen but-"Max cut him off.

"It was so scary! For a few moments I wasn't the main character of the story! How freaky is that?" Iggy had no idea what to say to this.

"Umm… that's very interesting. Now why don't you go and find Fang or something. Hey wait, are you on something?"

"Who me? Hahaha! Never!" Max chose this moment to twitch and drop something. That something turned out to be a bag of suspicious looking white powder.

"Oh my god Iggy! Max is on crack!" Ella screeched. Max scooped up the bag and ran out of the room.

"Ha! Max has crack? I want some!" Iggy ran after her and tackled her down in the hallway. Unfortunately, he had forgotten his shirt in Ella's room.

"Holy mother flipping shit!" Max screamed. "Iggy is trying to rape me!"

Fang would have come to his girlfriends rescue except he was in his room listening to death metal and drinking beer.

Angel was playing with Total in her room when she heard Max. Looking out her doorway, she saw Iggy on top of Max. Using her mind controlling powers, she made Iggy get up and repeatingly slam his head into the wall.

"Ow! Angel stop- Ow! It! I'm not kidding! Ow! It Ow! Hurts!" Max sat in the hallway and giggled.

Fang heard a loud thumping noise coming from the hallway and wondered who was doing it outside his room. He opened his door and saw Iggy thumping his head against the wall.

"Oh my God Iggy! Stop humping the wall!"

"I am not humping the damn wall, Fang! Angel is making me slam my head against the wall!"

"Oh that explains a lot. Stay here for a second!" Fang dashed back into his room to get God knows what.

"Stay here?" Iggy murmured. "What else can I do?" Fang returned from his room brandishing a camera. "Say cheese Iggy!" Flash! Fang made sure to post on his blog later on. Angel let go of Iggy's mind and he slumped down onto the floor.

"Ow! Sure just pick on the blind kid ya know!" He went back into Ella's room and closed the door. Soon sounds of ….. passion could be heard.

"Sure Fang you couldn't have come when Iggy was raping me right?"

"Iggy was raping you?" Fang's normally expressionless eyes turned dark with anger.

"Well, I think he just fell on top of me but its all good now!" Max smiled sweetly.

"Hey Max, are you on something?" Fang asked.

"Hey Fang are you drunk?"

Nudge chose this time to come home and she slammed the door open.

"Did someone say drunk?" She asked in a very slurred voice. In one hand, she held a bottle of booze and took a swig from it. Max gasped out aloud.

"Nudge how could you! It seems like everyone is wrecking havoc today! Thank god Gazzy isn't drunk either.

"Too late for that." Gazzy came from the kitchen. Seeing their mortified expressions he said "I'm kidding of course! I was making a new bomb! Oops!"

"Gazzy how many times have I told you: NO BOMBS!" Max yelled. "My mom is gonna be home soon and she is gonna freak when she sees this mess!" Indeed the kitchen was a huge mess from Gazzy's bomb making activity. Thank god nothing exploded.

"This is a very interesting day." Fang commented. "But what do we do now?"

Angel came racing down the stairs. "We play truth or dare of course!"

Sorry! I can't think of any good truths or dares for the flock! Give me any suggestions you have about the story and truth or dare. Don't know where I'm going wit my story!

5 review and I'll update! Anonymous reviewer are welcome!


	2. Kissing Inanimate Objects and Explosions

So Sorry! I had no time to update and even if I did I was a bit lazy lol. Again sorry.

Previously: "So what do we do now?"

"We play truth or dare of course!" Angel said.

Max nearly kneeled over again.

"Sweetie, now is not the time to be playing any games," she said behind clenched teeth. Angel pouted and knew that Max would not let them play, so using her mind controlling powers, she made Max give in. All of a sudden, Max smiled and said, "Ok, so who wants to play truth or dare?" Angel and Gazzy gave a shout of hurray and Nudge gave a groan of anguish from the couch where she was suffering from a very bad hangover. Fang looked confused and gave a sigh of impatience.

Max grinned and sat down on the couch opposite of Nudge. "Ok, who wants to go first?"

"Oh, oh me!" Gazzy shouted. "Ok Fang truth or dare?" Fang stared at the ceiling hoping for an escape route. With another sigh "Alright dare, you little monster."

"I dare you to ummmmmm... eat the plant on the table over there." All heads turned to the table. Of course, the ironic thing was that the plant turned out to be a cactus. "There is no way in hell that I am eating that crap load of death."

"FANG! Watch your damn language, bastard! There's freaking younger children here in case you haven't noticed!"

BOOM! A huge explosion came from upstairs. Max looked up at the ceiling.

"Oh no." she started panicking. "What the hell was that?" she yelled upstairs.

"Iggy and Ella sound into it right now." Fang remarked with a smirk and a hopeful look at Max.

"Whaaat..." Max looked questioningly at Fang

Iggy and Ella walked into the living room, both fully dressed now.

"Hey whats this?" Iggy asked. "We're playing a ridiculous game where all we do make out with or eat inanimte objects." Fang said sarcastically. Ella looked surprised. "Really?"

"No we're playing truth or dare!" Angel smiled brightly. "Wanna play?"

"No they don't want to play!" Max yelled. "What was that explosion upstairs?" Iggy looked sheepishly down at the floor.

"Oh nothing..." Iggy replied and moved in front of the stairs as Max made to go up them.

"Don't you dare tell me nothing! I heard something explode and I'm going to find out what it was!" She pushed past him and ran to his room.

Iggy's room was in it's usual chaos: clothes everwhere, bed unmade, and Ella's shirt on the ground. Although that wasn't usual.

Something caught her eye, and it wasn't the shirt. There was smoke wisping outside Iggy's window. Max looked out.

The entire backyard was charred and black.

"OH MY GOD IGGY I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Max screamed and ran downstairs. Iggy dived behind the couch for safety.

"I'M STILL GOING TO KILL YOU!" Although she never got the chance

However at that time a key turned in the front door.

"Hey kids, I'm home!" Mrs. Marinez walked in.

OOOh cliffhanger! Whatever happens next? Sorry for the short chapter. It's easier to write a whole bunch of short good ones and a hole bunch of long ones with a whole bunch of junk.


	3. Author's Note

**AN: I realize its been over a year since I updated this story and for those of you who still have me and my story on you update notice list, I'd like you to know I will continue this. First of all, I went through a lot in the past year and I'm not as immature as I was when I started writing this story. But I'm still as badass as ever ;) ****I hope some of you were starting to like my story and I hope that I interest many new readers as well, cause that's what every writer likes. Well just wanted to get your attention and say I'm back (am I allowed to do that?) I have added Chapter 3 so enjoy! Reviews, suggestions, criticism; I am open to anything you want to say to me. **


	4. This Isn't Sparta! This is Chaos!

**AN: Again I am so sorry for not updating before but I have been through hell in the last year and now I think it really is time to return to FanFiction. Enjoy Chapter 3!**

Mrs. Martinez walked into the house and came face to face with the flock, Instead of the usual hellos and hugs she received upon her homecoming, she was greeted with shock silence. Her brown eyes passed over Max, whose eyes mirrored Mrs. Martinez's, although Max's were unfocused from her recent high. The doctor then looked to Fang, whose headphones were still around his neck and had a cactus in his hand; to Gazzy whose round innocent eyes were even rounder with surprise and had a guilty look in them; to Iggy and Ella who looked bedraggled and dazed; to Nudge who had passed out on the couch again and finally Mrs. Martinez's gaze landed on Angel who had a frying pan in her hand.

**Thunk! **The frying pan thudded against Mrs. Martinez's forehead as she fell to the floor.

"Holy shit, holy shit!" Ella squealed. "You just knocked out my mom!"

"I think Jed might want to knock her _up,_" Fang smirked

"Ewwww!" The older kids ewed in unison while Gazzy and Angel looked confused.

"Max, what does it mean to 'knock up'" Angel asked. Max hesitated, not quite sure if she should really explain sex to Angel. As all the images associated with sex went through her mind, Angel read everything and shrieked.

"AHHH! Oh my god I'm scarred for life!" she ran up to her room. Before she slammed her door shut she screamed: "If I never have sex it's all your fault Iggy!"

"What the hell?" Iggy shouted. "Why the heck am I always blamed for everything!"

"Because everyone is jealous of your very, hmm hmm, well endowed equipment," Ella giggled as she touched Iggy between the legs and squeezed it. Iggy was immediately turned on and started making out with Ella while she gave him a hand job.

"What the douche!" Fang yelled. "Go do this crap somewhere else!" the dark haired youth threw the cactus in his hands at Iggy and Ella. With that Iggy picked up Ella bridal style and carried her into his bedroom for round two. Now Fang, Max and Gazzy were left with Nudge passed out on the couch, Dr. Martinez knocked out cold on the ground and a burnt, smoking backyard. Max and Fang exchanged glances.

"So err, what should we take care of first?" Max emerged as the leader through her crack induced haze. Fang ran over to his cactus, picked it up and started cuddling with it.

"Max, I think I should first stop throwing this little guy around. I kind of like him."

Max sighed and tugged in Fang's black feathers. "No smart one, I meant about all this chaos!"

"THIS IS SPARTA!" Gazzy yelled.

"NO THIS IS CHAOS!" Max yelled back. "Go sit in the time out corner!"

Fang sighed as he carefully placed the cactus on the table and suggested: "Well I guess we move your mom so if the cops come by they don't think we killed her."

**At the Police Station:**

Ring Ring! The telephone rang again and again until an officer rushed to the phone. He was out of breath and was trying to zip his pants up and tuck in his shirt.

"Hello, Officer Campfield, how can I pleasure you, I mean, help you today?" he answered, as a cleaning maid walked in and smirked.

"Oh an explosion, really? Hmm how interesting, yes, I'll take care of it, oh yes, oh yes, god yes," the last bit was a moan as the maid starting pleasuring the officer. Officer Camp field brushed his blonde hair out of his blue eyes as the maid said "Shall we continue what we started before, Officer?"

"Oh yes, Sabrina, you are the only one-"

"Sabrina? My name is Chelsey!"

"Of course that's what I said," Officer Campfield hurriedly said. "Now let's get back to business." he giggled.

**Back at the Martinez House:**

Indeed by Dr. Martinez's position on the floor, any passerby might assume she was dead, and the small trickle of blood from her forehead did nothing to contradict that assumption. While Max grabbed the doctor's head, Fang grabbed her feet and they hoisted her up the stairs. Mrs. Martinez gave out a small groan as they plopped her on her bed. Max and Fang stood there for a bit to see if she would wake up but Mrs. Martinez stayed asleep. They tiptoed out into the hallway and closed the door only to hear some giggling and banging noises coming from Iggy's room. Fang looked over at Max with a suggestive grin on his face and Max giggled.

"They sound like they're having fun," Fang said in a husky voice.

"Yeah I guess they do," Max replied in whisper. Fang looked into her eyes and leaned closer til Max could feel his soft warm breath on her face. He then brought his arms around her waist and felt Max's soft feathers on his skin.

"I want you, Max, I really do," Fang whispered. "But I want to know if you want me too."

Max lowered her eyes and replied in a soft tone "Yes, Fang I want you too." She looked back into Fang's warm, dark brown eyes and reached up to kiss him. Fang brought his lips closer to Max's and they both closed their eyes as a sliver of air was the only thing that separated their lips.

Then the doorbell rang. Fang and Max jumped back as Iggy sprinted butt naked from his room.

"That's her, that's her! Don't worry I've got the door!" Iggy ran down the stairs to the door. Max and Fang heard Gazzy scream downstairs "My eyes, my eyes!" and the seductive giggling coming from the person whoever rang the doorbell as she walked in. Iggy led the mysterious person up the stairs (Gazzy could still be heard screaming "Oh my god Iggy my eyes, how could you do this to my eyes!"). The mysterious person turned out to be a stripper.

"Hey guys!" Iggy turned to Fang and Max as they stood in the hallway with their mouths wide open and huge eyes in surprise.

"This is Sherondoleshea, and this is a err, friend of Ella's and mine." Their "friend" stripper was wearing fishnets, a tiny, plaid, schoolgirl skirt, leather knee high boots and a red leather top that only covered her chest, barely.

"Well, we're going to have some fun. We're going to skip dinner tonight!" Iggy winked and led a giggling Sherondoleshea into his bedroom and a few minutes later they heard the moaning and giggling of her, Ella and Iggy, accompanied by the banging of the bed against the wall. Max and Fang slowly recovered and shook their heads.

"Oh my god.."

"Mother of mercy…"

"Holy crap.."

"Uhh Fang,"

"Yeah Max,"

"How about we clean up the mess outside."

"Sounds like a plan"

As they made their way downstairs, Iggy once again emerged butt naked from his room, even more dazed then last time.

"Sorry guys, I forgot something." He felt his way through the fridge until he found the can of whip cream and bottle of hardening chocolate. He then stuck a banana into his butt and winked again at Max and Fang, both of whom had looks of disgust on their faces. Fang covered the cactus with his hand and yelled "What the cheezit Iggy! You're ruining my poor cactus' innocence!" Gazzy was covering his own eyes and rocking back and forth on the kitchen floor.

"Edible body art." Iggy chuckled and returned to his ladies upstairs.

Max and Fang both rushed out into the backyard and grabbed Gazzy along the way who was sobbing over the loss of his innocence and youth. All three surveyed the chaos that they had previously called their backyard, but now resembled something close to a war zone.

"OMG Gazzy what did you do to this yard!" Max screamed and starting choking the eight-year old little boy.

"Wahh, cut it out Max!" Gazzy cryed. "Fang! Stop her please!" The rest of Gazzy's pleads for help and mercy were lost on Fang as he put his headphones back on and turned up his death metal music. Just as Gazzy starting turning purple, the doorbell rang again. Max stopped choking the blonde boy and went inside with Fang behind her, head banging his way down the hall. Gazzy crawled his way into the house, still gasping for breath. Max opened the door to find two police officers standing on the doorstep.

"Hello miss, we received calls of complaint about some suspicious noises and an explosion coming from your house. We have a warrant to search your house."

**AN: So not bad after taking a year and a half break from writing huh? This chapter had a lot of suggestive, explicit content yeah I had fun with it. I'll tone it down next chapter and come up with fun other stuff. Ah you gotta feel bad for Gazzy don't you? hehe Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters I never said thank you til now! Love you all! Yes its short. Short chapters=more updates from now on I promise! Pay attention to the cactus! **


End file.
